Things are good.  Vegas was great.  New gig is a ton of fun.  Personal life is blissful.  Lost weight.  Then BOOM – you wake up with a big gigantic cold sore on the upper right corner of your lip and your whole entire face looks that of a victim.  A victim of what?  I don’t know exactly.  It just looks like I’ve been victimized, ok?

When I was younger and didn’t get cold sores on my poor lip, I thought they were utterly disgusting and that the people who got them had to be the dregs of society. Now that I am the (un)proud owner of my very own strain of this little bastard, I feel the same.  No, I don’t believe I am classified as a “dreg” but for a few days each year, when this little fucker bashes its ugly stick upon my face, I believe I may look like one and that displeases me infinitely.  I try hard to be the complete and total opposite of a dreg – now, that matters not.  I look like one and there is nothing that I can do about it.

Am I under stress?   Am I sick?  Is anything wrong?  Nope.  I’m fine and dandy and that’s why this has happened.  I finally unclench and a plague upon my face is the result.  Doesn’t this mongrel understand that my face is my money maker?  I’m in Sales in NY-fucking-C and I can’t have a deformity of this magnitude living on my face.  What, am I supposed to go on meetings wearing a burqa, or maybe just a Hannibal Lecter mask?  Surely that will shift attention from my growth to my… mental state!

GAH!  I hate this.  I hate that this is my future and that there is nothing I can do to make it go away.  Clearly venting about it will just bring everyone’s eyes to my lips (which are ordinarily super awesome, I’ll have the record show) but I don’t care.  Anger must be channeled and so here you have it.  My first blog in a month and it’s all about my cold sore.  Carry on and happy dining.

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