Dr. Oz is an asshole. His math is mean and I don’t care for him as a human, as a doctor or as an Oz.

Apparently, your waist is supposed to be half your height in inches. So I got out my measuring tape and checked this out. You know what, Dr. Oz? You know what?

I’m just going to check again tomorrow morning after I puke all night and consume a large box of laxatives.

Good night, sir.

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