Come out to the iAdventure International Food Truck and Beer Festival on Sunday, you say? It will be fun and delicious, you say?
Well, you know what iAdventure? You can – as a friend of mine said on Sunday – “suck a bag of dicks”! What a rip off! We stood on line for “Greek fries” for no less than 45 minutes and you know what? They were just fries with olive oil and feta cheese. Nothing special there. We were also positioned directly behind a kid who probably rides the short bus (Vegas odds, 78 : 2.5 in favor of the bus) and her adults who cared not that the imbecile was jumping around like a monkey who got away from her master. Furthermore, one of these people wouldn’t STFU and was the size of someone who should most definitely *not* be attending a food truck festival. The only festival that Humpty Dumpty should attend is Fat Camp Festival O’Raw Vegetables!
Admittedly, I am far from perfect. But in all honesty, the site of that monster swilling her fries combined with the humidity made this Asian start to dry heave – no bullshit.
Also, just for shits and giggles, I almost let my Asshole Flag fly but I held back – or was held back. Since this event blew so too did the event staff blow. One chick asked me three times what line I was looking for – cash or tasting ticket. All three times I said it did not matter, I just want food, I’m happy in whatever line I am in. #Annoying.
However, the part that inspired me to verbally assault this aforementioned GED class drop out was the fact that she kept TOUCHING ME. Do not touch me, you unclean, uneducated, simple-minded baboon. Do not touch anyone, actually. We don’t know where your hands have been and I, for one, do not want to find out. You smell of the zoo and your hands are greasy!
Thank goodness my companion escorted me out of the area before I let, “Don’t touch me, you fucking asshole,” fly out of my mouth. I admit, that is not the proper response to that situation but it was going to come out nonetheless.
The day ended with fun and laughs, though. I calmed down, met up with some friends, had some drinks and food (we went elsewhere and paid with real money) and got home in time to watch True Blood before passing out in record time. #SundayFunday
PS: Don’t even get me started on True Blood. What crap.